Rescuing Masculinity - what does the Bible say about being a man?

Rescuing Masculinity: What does the Bible say about being men?

Promising via facebook to teach at Stafford University Christian Union on whatever was most requested led to this talk on what the Bible has to say about being a man.  Notes are never as good as the live talk (and the discussion afterwards was even better) but here they are.  Well done to Staff CU for being so responsive.

What is a ‘real’ man?  

Dedicated father or hard-drinking lad; driven businessman or sensitive husband; competitive sports’ man or reflective thinker; artistic poet or courageous marine?  What does the Bible say about being men?

Understanding what the Bible says about being a man matters for men because there are at least three false models of manhood saturating culture and we have a tendency to default toward them:

·        Consumer man who uses his strength to serve himself.  He consumes and never contributes.  Designs and controls life for his own pleasure.  Is not responsible for his responsibilities.  Seeks to be served and not to serve.  Bends his strength to serve himself. 

·       Chauvinist man who uses his strength against others.  He is entitled, rude, and hierarchical.  Bends his strength to make others serve him.

·        Cowardly man who doesn’t use his strength at all.  He is too intimated to take responsibility.  He does not feel he can (failed to be trained and equipped) or he does not feel he should (failed to be encouraged).  He thinks he is a child when he is already a man.

Intention for men through this talk is to place before men the grand and glorious vision of biblical manhood and encourage you to step up to that vision.

Understanding what the Bible says about being a man matters for women because there is an epidemic of women rightly unable to trust their fathers, husbands, brothers and friends with their body, heart, money, children, safety, future, and secrets because the men they have encountered have been consumers, chauvinists or cowards.  Men who are difficult to respect, admire or trust.

Intention for women through this talk is to place before women the grand and glorious vision of biblical manhood so you can make wise choices (of who to marry and not to marry), good decisions (in raising sons, relating to brothers, living alongside men), and know how to encourage men so you can admire, respect, trust and love us. 

This is a talk for men.  Of course in a perfect world it should partnered with an equally clear and demanding talk for women.  So by focussing on men we are not neglecting women.  The Bible has lots to say to both.  Today is about men though.

Definition of biblical manhood:  

The strong inclination in men to image God and emulate Jesus in being tough guardians and tender lovers, to their own deep satisfaction, the joy of those they serve and ultimately for God’s glory.

Inclination because different capacities and different relationships affect how this tendency is expressed – most intensely to wives and children, but in concentric circles out from there.  Inclination makes is about a man’s heart and trajectory and tendency and lean.

Case study of Men in the Image of Adam: Guardians and Lovers

In Genesis 2:7 Man/Adam is created by God to be.  In Genesis 3 it all goes wrong and we see sin corrupt Adam toward cowardice (3:9), consumerism (3:6) and chauvinism (3:16).  But in Genesis 2 we see God’s design for all men displayed in Adam.

In Genesis 2:15-17 it is a design to be a tough guardian: making people feel safe (not threatened or intimidated)

·     15: Provision through hard work: work it = avad: translates labour, work, graft, toil. 

·   15: Guardianship: Take care of it = shamar: translates guard, protect, defend. 

·         16-17: Protection through obedience to God’s word (16-17).

v15 seems about physical, practical, material.  v16-17 seem about spiritual, moral.

It is an inclination toward being tough guardians for people.  People feel ‘safe’ in our presence: provided for and protected both physically and spiritually/morally.  An inclination to show the strength of God.

In Genesis 2:19-25 it is a design toward tender love: making people feel cherished (not devalued or dismissed)

·        19-20: Generally: the person who names another takes loving responsibility for them.  E.g. parents to children.

·         23-25: Specifically and uniquely to your wife.

An inclination toward tender love of people.  People feel cherished by our presence.  An inclination to show the love of God.

Two closing questions we need to have some clarity on:

Does this mean women and men are different in their competence?  

No.  Definitely not.  There's a deep equality talked about in Genesis 1 before God moves to these different inclinations in Genesis 2.  It does mean God designed his world that men have an innate capacity that should be encouraged and trained toward this inclination.  And women have different, equally significant and noble inclinations to be encouraged and trained.  Men have a God-driven bent to be guardians and lovers for others’ joy.  When a man is encouraged and strengthened and trained in this inclination no wife, or child or society complains.  Because when God designs a thing he designs it for his own glory and for all our good.  It is not just right but better.  But we must realise it is not about competence or equality, but is about calling, inclination, design, satisfaction, purpose.

How can women who are ‘alongside’ men, as wife, sister, daughter or friend, help?  

It is ok to let someone protect and love you.  It is not a sign of weakness to encourage certain men to be tough for you and tender toward you in an appropriate way.  Expect, encourage and allow men in your sphere of influence to be this not my being less yourself but by demanding more from them.  Refuse to be part of a culture that cultivate men as consumers, cowards and chauvinists.  Instead do your part to make men who are strong guardians and tender lovers for God’s glory, others’ good and their joy.

And men need to do this for each other too - demand of each other to be better.  Don’t be an enabler of each other’s laziness or cowardice or chauvinism or consumerism.  Call your brother and friend on their failure.  ‘As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another’.  Don’t waste your life and don’t let other guys waste their lives on videos and computer games and social media and porn and lay-ins.  Be who God as made you to be – for God’s glory, your satisfaction and others’ joy.